Rye Bread and Feelings of Entitlement

I hope that those of you who read this blog are nice to people in menial labor jobs such as fast food and retail. Or at least are aware of how you speak to those of us who work in these fields.  Because I have had to deal with some REALLY stuck up people before...

The old phrase "The Customer is Always Right" is a good business saying but if you have ever read the Not Always Right blog, http://notalwaysright.com/ you will know that some customers are just plain RUDE.

I was approached by a customer who appeared very irritated one day. When I asked her if I could help her, she asked why it was we weren't baking any rye bread anymore. I told her I had a loaf of seedless rye I just baked but she waved it away and replied that she wanted seeded rye bread. She also said she had been coming in for three days looking for it and we have been out every time. Well, out of all the bread we carry the Seeded Rye Bread sells the worst. 98% we throw away so it's not a bread loaf we have a lot of out at any given time as we do the Sourdough, Pumpernickel, or Wheat. I told her this and she just gave me this very haughty and unimpressed look. 

Like this...

I do not appreciate this ever present attitude people take with me. People look at me as though I don't know how to do my job. I am young, sure. But this is also a field I care for deeply. I know more about your precocious Rye bread than you do. So stuff the attitude lady. I'm trying to HELP you. But that's not the issue at hand is it? You're pissed that I didn't have the thing you wanted and instead of ASKING me how you could get some rye bread, you were trying to take control of the conversation and TELL me. As if I was the hired help. That's what you see when you look at me. A servant who fucked up and you would gladly fire me if you had the ability to do so. Well, the feeling is mutual. I would gladly curse you out if it wouldn't cost me my job. 

I understand the frustration of coming in and not seeing the bread you want, however, I am a huge proponent of treating others with respect. Even more so since I started working in retail.

If you treat me with respect as one human to another, I am more than willing to help you any way I can. However, I am not your servant and the moment you start treating me as such is the moment you will find yourself talking to a brick wall. I wouldn't give you the time of day after that.  

Meringue

 Let's talk meringue.

The French must be secret pyromaniacs, they take a blow torch to everything!

Meringue is defined as whipped egg whites with sugar. It is a building block of pastry and something EVERYONE should know. It's the equivalent of knowing how to boil water. Basics. And like many things, people have different names for them. Is it a submarine roll or a hoagie? That kind of thing.

I want this shirt!

Well, I recently came across such a disparity at work the other day when I was placing some strawberry shortcakes on a stand near the Produce department. A customer walked by and praised the cakes, asking me if that was Seven Minute Icing.

What?

I'd never heard of Seven Minute Icing before. I told her it was Whipped Icing and she asked me to repeat myself and that she was having trouble understanding me. (I'm from California and people ask me to repeat things all the time because of my 'accent').  Finally I told her it was Cool Whip. She then asked me if I knew what SMI was and I told her I'd never heard of it before. She then gasped and called another customer over and said "She's never heard of Seven Minute Icing!"
 

I asked her what it was, because I'm studying pastry and want to know. She said it was egg whites, sugar, vanilla, corn syrup and such cooked over a double boiler.

"Oh! It's Italian meringue! I know what that is."

"No, it's not a meringue..."

"But it's beaten egg whites with sugar?"

"Yes, but it's not a meringue."

"..."

Proof:

Recipe for 7 minute icing (Courtesy of Allrecipes.com):

• 2 egg whites
• 1 1/2 cups white sugar
• 1/3 cup cold water
• 1 1/2 teaspoons light corn syrup
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions

1. Put egg whites, sugar, water and syrup in top of double boiler. Beat until mixed well. Place over rapidly boiling water. Beat constantly with electric beater while it cooks for 7 minutes or until it will stand in peaks when beater is raised. Remove from heat. Add vanilla. Beat. Fills and frosts 2 layer cake, 8 or 9 inch.

Italian Meringue recipe (courtesy of Ochef.com):

Ingredients:
 

For the Egg Whites:
 
2/3 cup egg whites (4 to 5 whites)
A pinch of salt
1/4 tsp cream of tartar

For the Sugar Syrup:
 
1-1/3 cups sugar
1/2 cup water

Instructions:

Beat the egg whites at slow speed until the foam throughout, add the salt and cream of tartar, gradually increase the speed to fast, and beat to soft peaks. Turn the machine to slow as you complete the sugar syrup.
Bring the sugar and water to the simmer, swirl the pan to dissolve the sugar completely, cover tightly and boil to the soft-ball stage (234°F to 240°F; 112°C to 116°C on a candy thermometer).

Beating the egg whites at moderately slow speed, dribble into them the boiling syrup — trying to avoid the wires of the whip. Increase speed to moderately fast and beat until cool and the egg whites form stiff, shining, upstanding peaks. The meringue is now ready to use as your recipe direct




To me, Seven Minute Icing it nothing more than an 'Americanization' of Italian Meringue, much the same way Baker's Buttercream is the 'Americanized' French Buttercream.

Speaking of buttercream, if you want to make Italian Meringue buttercream, just make the Italian Meringue and add butter.

You're Doing it Wrong!

Dummy Cakes are aptly named  and if only you the idiocy that seems to surround them. First off, a dummy cake is a piece of foam done up to look like a cake. They are like the bilboards for cake decorators. Let's say you just opened your first cake shop and want to showcase your speshul skillz to the average passerby. You would grab yourself some precut dummy cakes and decorate them as if they were cake. You can stack them, carve them, whatever you like! They're brilliant little things and I love them!

However, there are some rules one should follow when attempting to make a dummy cake.

Do not use buttercream icing. For the love of God and baby kittens use your not-so-common sense and THINK! When I see dummy cakes made with buttercream I die a little inside. Also, if you see one in your local cake shop you would be well advised to look for sweets elsewhere. Royal icing is not hard to make and it's something every decorator should KNOW how to make. You are supposed to use royal icing on dummy cakes, it's that simple.

Why is that you ask?

It dries hard like cement and once it is dried, your dummy cake will stay nice and pretty for much longer. The colors won't photo-degrade, the icing won't mold, you can keep it clean, and most importantly you won't have conspicuously child sized finger prints all over your advertising. Also, if you live in a hot and humid area like me, the icing won't melt.

All in all, it's just a smart thing to do.

At work, the store director asked us to make a few dummy cakes up and I told my boss flat out you need to use royal icing if you want that thing to survive. So it seems as though I will be making the dummy cakes up at home, which I don't mind. It'll be great practice working with royal icing anyway. However, there was a bit of a coincidence the other day as we recieved a call from a lady who is openning either a cake shop or a catering business and wanted us to make her some dummy cakes.

My first reaction when my boss told me this was "Yay more dummy cakes!" but then the logical part of my brain said "Hey, hold on a minute..."

This lady is starting a cake business and wants US to make HER showcase dummy cakes to show HER customers what SHE can do...but it won't be HER work they're seeing but OURS.

So we had a laugh at the WTFOMGBBQ of it and should the lady ever contact us again in regards to said dummy cakes, we will have to politely decline her request...
 


 

A Lesson in Cakery

Anyone who has attempted to make a cake will tell you that it is harder than it looks. Your Mom and Grandma made it look so easy didn't they? Well, now it's your turn. You could go down to the local Wal-Mart and pick up one of their mass produced, plastic covered hallmark card cakes, or make one yourself!

A cake decorator must be an artist and an engineer. One without the other gets you featured on Cake Wrecks. 

The most important rule about the art of Cakery is support. SUPPORT! SUPPORT! SUPPORT! Even a small single layer cake can collapse on itself if it's not torted properly. I know because I have had this happen to me. I was shocked too...  

Mmm...yummy. 

One thing you will find out very quickly about decorating cakes is that there are LOTS of ways to do one thing. People are always experimenting with technique. There's a wrong way and many right ways. For instance there's at least five ways that I know of just to ICE a cake in buttercream icing. However, it must be said that it is vital to learn the BASICS before jumping out into the abyss. 

Don't be like that girl in my first cake decorating class who decided she was going to be a speshul snowflake and not follow our instructors advice and follow the lesson plan, and instead make whatever cake she wanted and NOT what we were doing. AKA learning how to use the tips to achieve effects and how to control pipping with a bag...Needless to say her final cake was no where up to par with what the rest of us made. 

It is also important to know the weather of your area and learn to accomodate your cakes to it. Higher altitudes, humidity, they will all effect everything from how your cake bakes to how thick or thin your buttercream should be and even if that fondant will STAY on that cake. 

Humidity kills cakes. Remember that. 

The artistry of cakes holds its route in the royal courts of European noblemen and kings.  

I have a color fetish with gold/yellow and blue. It's freaking SEXY!

Many of the old school pipping and scroll work are throw backs to baroque architecture and the crown moldings common in the gilded palaces of Europe. It is very common to see architecture themed cakes, even if it is not obvious. Because remember what I said: Cakery is half engineering.

Victorian era decorations are very common as well.

You can buy molds or patterns for cakes such as these. But for the most part, I would experiment. Practice pipping scroll work on a sheet of wax paper. Play with fondant molds and gum paste. 

The most important thing we sometimes forget (especially for those of us who make a living off of cakes) is that we do this not because of some obligation, but because we enjoy it. 

So don't forget to make it fun or else what's the point?

All American Wedding

I'll be honest and say I've never understood the appeal of getting married on a major holiday. I mean, really, is there anything more cheesey? Purposing on a major holiday is cute, but get getting married? Ehhh....

<german accent>Dats joost veird.</german accent> 

We had two wedding cake orders for July 4th. Because we don't have small sizes of the traditional round tiers, the ones we do have feed like 100+ people, both customers opted for stacked sheet cakes. Which is a bit red neck doncha think?

One wanted white roses and immediately I felt my annoyance pulsate. White frosting roses...I hate white frosting roses. Not because of the white (which I do kind of hate), but because our white buttercream is not made to make roses with. It's an icing meant to be easily spread onto a cake, so it's thin. And this icing makes shitty roses. Red, Purple, blue, orange, and pink are the icings meant to make roses out of. It's a thicker icing so the roses won't melt. And they wanted a red heart with their names on the top. D'aw, look at the lack of creativity in their design!

The second cake wanted the bride and grooms name on the long side of the second tier. Problem: There's literally 1 1/2 inches of room to not just write the names, but also put the borders. Needless to say it was not up to my standards and I felt bad about it.  I expect them complain...

Out of all the days you could choose to hold your wedding, why the Fourth of July? You do realize you're essentially screwing up all your future Anniversaries right? You marry on a holiday - any holiday - and every time you want to go out for your anniversary, all the nice restaurants will be booked, everywhere will be full, and you'll have to settle for Red Lobster or Olive Garden. Or worse, McDonalds.

Scratch that, you can never get into an Olive Garden anywhere near a holiday. Ever. It's insane. I know, because I've tried.

Lists

Things I like about my job:

1. I get to be creative.
2. Seeing people smile when they pick up their cakes.
3. The smell of the Bakery -OH GOD THE SMELLS!
4. People who will only buy doughnuts when I make them -Queen of Doughnuts here.


Things I hate about my job:

1. I have to be creative. "You draw really well! Can you draw -insert radically complicated image here- on a cake for me? And I need it at four!"
2. Seeing people smile as they pick up their cake...until the front end manager comes back a little while later with the cake saying "They said it was ugly and didn't want it."
3.The smell of the Bakery...which after a while I  cannot distinguish one smell from the other. "What is that heavenly smell?" "Uh...well, we just took out some pies and the Cinnamon rolls are cooking and..." "No no no, it smells like...well, it smells like...well it smells good! What is it?" "Uhhh..."
4.People who will only buy doughnuts when I make them - which averages about once a week. No one buys doughnuts and we toss a good 60% of them. 

Fruits of Labor

These are some recent fruits of my labor...